Unspoken
by mikage-aya
Summary: Late night musing by our favourite couple - KxK. Warning, might be a bit depressing. R&R please.
1. Shizuka

Title: Unspoken  
  
Author: mikage-aya  
  
Disclaimer: I owned nothing. Nothing  
  
Summary: Late night musings  
  
Author Notes: Sorry people. This is sort of a written on the spot kind of thing and English Is not my first language. I apologized for any mistakes and hope you all Enjoy this. Read and review please!!  
  
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I thought once that money makes the world go round. Now I realize it is just gravity.  
  
------ unknown ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I looked at him while he is sleeping at night. I slipped into his room quietly and watched him till the breaking of dawn. Sometimes I think he knows I'm looking at him. But most of the time, I just don't care.  
  
I need him by my side so much.  
  
Always, I marvel at the way his soft red hair reflected the moonlight, the way those crimson lashes cast crescent shadows upon his pale face. The scar on his left cheek seem enticing, begging for a touch. I praise Mother Nature for making one with beauty as his, both physical and internally.  
  
I watched as his chest rose and fall, a rhythm that symbolizes life. He looked even younger in sleep, an aura of innocence and mystery surrounding him.  
  
People often thought I love him, or at least I have a crush on him. Well, I do love him, but not as the love that is of eros, you know.  
  
I need him, needed him like the sunshine and air that I breath, needed him like the water and food that I consume. I need him like fire needed oxygen.  
  
But need and love is different.  
  
I cannot love him with the unselfish type of love because I am selfish. Agape does not exist in our dictionary of relationship.  
  
I love him like one would love an idol.  
  
Admire from far.  
  
I know he loves me too. Love me like the way he loved his non-killing ways. Love me because I am the symbol of the dream he hoped to achieve. Love me because my very presence means he is right and he did not waste all these years wandering atoning.  
  
Love me because my presence represents Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. That using a sword to protect instead of kill is possible. That whatever we do is not a mockery.  
  
Love me because loving me means loving himself. That he is right.  
  
I don't really care why he loves me as long as he is by my side. I don't care because I'm that selfish.  
  
Sometimes, tears would trickle down my cheeks and I would feel the urge to leave. To forget everything and start over again.  
  
But I will go into his room and look at him again and I will forget all my ideas of leaving.  
  
Where can I go? Where can I run? I'm like a plant that clings desperately onto its support.  
  
He knows about my feelings for him. That I am sure of. He is neither stupid nor naïve.  
  
We complete something in each other. He filled my loneliness and I reaffirmed his values.  
  
Love? Maybe this is also a form of love. But I will not know. Because I never knew what love is.  
  
However, sitting here by the moonlight, watching him sleeping brought me a measure of peace that I never knew before. It sooths my heart and ease the pain just a little. And even though the next morning comes, we will simply act out the roles we casted for ourselves.  
  
But I always look forward to the nights, nights when the time spent between us is unspoken.  
  
The End  
  
  
  
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	2. Ayamachi

Title: Unspoken  
  
Author: mikage-aya  
  
Disclaimer: I owned nothing. Nothing  
  
Summary: Late night musings  
  
Author Notes: Sorry people. This is sort of a written on the spot kind of thing and English Is not my first language. I apologized for any mistakes and hope you all Enjoy this. Read and review please!!  
  
  
  
The chemical formula for tears of sadness and tears of joy are the same..  
  
I knew she was looking at me at night. I feel her eyes watching even as I drift into my uneasy slumber. Sometimes I wonder why she want to do this.  
  
But deep in my heart, I understand.  
  
And so I never chase her away, giving her a measure of comfort at the expense of intrusion into my privacy.  
  
I love her so.  
  
Sometimes, I want to go away. To cut myself away from those who call themselves my friends. Simply because I need the space.  
  
And I don't think they understand.  
  
I don't think they understand how hard it is to live with yourself once your hands shed blood. Blood of the innocent.  
  
Despite what names they give, a hitokiri will always be a hitokiri.  
  
As I said before, back in those times of the Bakumatsu, no one was wrong. Everyone fought for what they believe to be justice and truth.  
  
Actually, the Ishin Shishi won only because this era chose them to be the inheritor. The world is changing and we need people of insight and foresight to see past the waves.  
  
She is my pillar, you know. Simply because of who she is, and what she is.  
  
A sword that protects, a sword that does not kill.  
  
I wonder if I'm running to her for affirmation or approval. It is the nature of people to segregate into groups of similar thinking. I was no exception  
  
Sometimes, I wonder if I love her. Love her the way I love Tomoe, loving her enough to let go. But I realize that that kind of love can only be given once. And I gave it to Tomoe already.  
  
I love her, but I cannot let her go.  
  
Because letting her go means letting myself go. It means the ideals that I fought for those past ten years were ashes and redemption is no more further away than east is to west.  
  
I am selfish that way. But you have to be selfish when you have so little left.  
  
And I only have my ideals left.  
  
Without them, there is nothing to stop me from killing. There is nothing to stop me from destroying.  
  
Words are pretty decorations, justifications are meant to be fabrications and good and evil will then cease to exist.  
  
But I love her. I truly do. It hurts me to see her cry. To see her sad.  
  
I vowed to protect her. To protect her as one would protect their ideals.  
  
She knows my feelings towards her. That is why she persist in coming my room.  
  
She can love me because she knows she do not need to fear me loving her back romantically. And I can love her because I know that says the same of her too.  
  
We complete each other. In those unspoken hours.  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
